What Did the Experts Have to Say About Fifty Shades of Grey Wine?

The reviews are in. This week Ideal Wine Company asks; what did the experts have to say about Fifty Shades of Grey Wine?

Persuading the Masses to Drink Sub-Standard Swill

The Ideal Wine Company is a firm dedicated to providing first rate fine wines from every corner of the world, at prices that won’t break your bank account.

We value quality above everything else. We’ve always been suspicious when it comes to novelty wine. Novelty wine tends to take advantage of a pop culture fad to persuade the masses to drink sub-standard swill. Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that found ourselves feeling ourselves more than a little dubious when we first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey Wine.

What is Fifty Shades of Grey Wine?

Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. Wine developed in partnership with E.L James, the woman who penned the novel that sits in the bedside drawer of frustrated housewives all over the world, Fifty Shades of Grey. The new grand has developed and released two wines; Red Satin and White Silk. How original.

Both vintages have recently been released and the first reviews are in. It looks as though we were right to feel dubious, as the reviews most experts gave of Fifty Shades of Grey Wine ranged from mediocre to so terrible, it’d make you think E.L James had committed a crime against viticulture!

What Did the Experts Say?

So what did the experts actually have to say? Several experts said plenty of things to Vanity Fair’s Alex Beggs. Take Charlie Bird director Grant Reynolds for example. He was particularly scathing. On tasting the vintages Reynolds said that “this wine tastes like pain. I’d rather be flogged than have to drink this again.”

The beverage director for Andrew Carmellini’s NoHo Hospitality Group, Joshua Nadel, was just as harsh. He said that the White Silk “tastes like gummy peaches coated in bland movie-theatre popcorn butter,” whilst the Red Satin “tastes like an old-school Pine Bros. cherry cough drop mixed with a ski lodge.”

Some reviewers were a bit kinder. Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steak House wine director, Jessica Certo, said that “overall, this wine was unexpectedly delightful,” whilst Punch editor Talia Baiocchi commented that “neither of the wines was nearly as bad as I thought they’d be. Completely ordinary? Yes. Bad? No.”

Stick to the Ideal Wine Company Product List

In other words, the experts were hardly waiting in the wings to hand Fifty Shades of Grey Wine a slew of glowing reviews now were they? If you’re looking for first-rate luxury vintages, you might want to stick to the Ideal Wine Company Product List.


More Posts